Evil Self-Help @EvilSelfHelp
Joined May 2023-
Tweets142
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Followers174
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Following6
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Likes12
just stopping by to tell you that vampires, werewolves, and cryptids believe in you too
(flirting) this haunted castle was just a castle before you walked into it
I have simple tastes. This is all I want for Christmas: - the fall of my enemies - a cool helmet, preferably spiked - a raccoon uprising Gift cards are also welcome.
Yes, they're annoying af but having haters is a GOOD sign. It means you're making an impact and getting attention. After all, if you throw a wide enough net, you're 100% going to catch some trash fish by accident along with what you're actually looking for.
If there's decadent excess involved, I am in.
The shitposts must flow. He who controls the shitposts, controls the universe.
You ever wish you could reroll a day like you're generating a D&D character?
(googling) how to get the specific form of attention in the right quantity from the exact people I want it from forever, without offending anyone or doing anything wrong ever
"you've posted that before" okay, so fun fact about me, the instant I do something I forget about it, keeps things nice and spicy
(hosting duck fights) ohhh... when you said to get my ducks in a row, I thought you meant... 👊💢
"The floor is lava." At last! *sinks into the floor, never to be seen or heard from ever again*
Furious that there's a monster under my bed... because it means they aren't in the actual bed with me.
When life gives you lemons, transform them into demons.
Love yourself first...THEN love all your clones.
(flirting) why, you're the weirdest creature I've ever seen
If you must cough in public, cover your mouth. And for bonus points, cough twice and say "Gollum" for a bit of extra flair.
Imagine showing up to the duel in your finest regalia only to find everyone else is in business casual.
Very upset to learn that being demonetized has nothing to do with demons.
(getting locked in a dungeon) the vibes in here are so off
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⋆｡°✩🪐©️�.. @curiousgirl_TM
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311 Followers 2K Following A bear? An italian furry bear | 24 | may contain 18+ | pedos and zoos just block me I have no time for your mental illnesses
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ᴊᴜѕᴛɪη ʜα�.. @hashtagashby
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☢️ UbiSubject17 �.. @xangiexdx
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174 Followers 2K Following i am very afraid and do not know enough about the subject to give an informed response. why, why are you reading this. All fleeting is glory. Memento Tweeti.
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All Shall Love Me and.. @all_shall_love
441 Followers 18 Following Human, maybe. Terrifying. Beautiful.
I bet you say that to all the dark spirits🖤
(flirting) why, you're the weirdest creature I've ever seen
do not hoard your approval. lifting others up does not lower you down. build up the community you want to see in the world from the stolen bones and stitched together corpses of the ones who thought they could keep you small and powerless
YOU ARE ENOUGH YOU WITH THE HUMAN SHAPED CAVITIES CLAWED FROM YOUR FLESH, YOU WITH A HEART LONG WITHERED TO DUST, YOU WHO ONLY DREAMS OF THE RED HUNT BUT EVER REFRAINS, YOU ARE ENOUGH, TRANSCENDENTLY LOATHSOME AMD ALWAYS ENOUGH
Sometimes, it’s like flirting into the void
The fear: that nothing survives. The greater fear: that something does.
Not college, not trade school, but a secret third thing. (Accepting the tutelage of a powerful sorceress, joining a coven, and raising an army of demons to do your bidding.)
Ladies, don’t be a replacement for his mother. Be a replacement for the thing under his bed that he was afraid of as a child — mysterious, elusive, and probably from a hell dimension.
If you need me, I'll be up in my castle being lovely and deranged. ⚡
Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.
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