Divergence Line @DivergenceLine

Curated for dark theme. Some posts are art, others are not. Turbo-weeb. Maid enthusiast. Joined September 2012

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Divergence Line @DivergenceLine

2 days ago

@Velkyen "Heh, see that? Yeah, I can't believe it's not butter either."

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redrum @griffisu

a week ago

i hate when a girl tries using a manipulation tactic you learned 6 bpd girls ago

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hate it when wenches protest “DONT BLOW YOUR PIPE SMOKE ALL OVER MY BABY”. first of all it’s not smoke it’s a gnomish runevape and it’s like arcane vapor or some other shit, plus the scholars of the realm don’t even know the ramifications of its hazards yet. mf fool

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IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession

a week ago

I liquidated my entire 401K yesterday morning. The financial advisor on the phone begged me to reconsider. He used words like tax penalty and catastrophic compound interest loss. I told him fiat currency is a collective hallucination. I took the $85K and drove straight to a commercial restaurant supply warehouse. I bought exactly 12,000 pounds of iodized table salt. It took 4 trips in a rented moving truck to transport it to my basement. Historically, salt was used to pay Roman soldiers. When the central banking system collapses next Tuesday, I'll be the wealthiest warlord in the tri-state area. My basement is currently a massive, white, moisture-absorbing desert. I have to wear protective eyewear just to do laundry. My neighbor asked why I was carrying 50-pound bags of sodium into my house for 9 straight hours. I told him I'm curing meats. I'm not curing meats. I'm hoarding the currency of the apocalypse. He'll be begging me for seasoning by November.

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IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession

2 weeks ago

Attending a 5-year-old's birthday party requires the tactical precision of a covert operative. The invitation said the event was a casual gathering from 2 PM to 4 PM. There's nothing casual about 15 screaming children hyped on buttercream frosting. I arrived at exactly 2:03 PM and established a perimeter near the bounce house. My objective was simple, ensure my son secured exactly 2 pieces of pizza and sustained 0 injuries. Another parent tried to engage me in small talk about local property taxes. I deployed a smoke screen by pointing at a random child and yelling that someone was double-dipping their carrot stick in the ranch. In the ensuing chaos, I extracted my son from the ball pit. We successfully breached the exit at 3:14 PM with a plastic goody bag containing 3 temporary tattoos and a choking hazard. I debriefed him in the minivan. We're never socializing again. I'm sorry son.

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Maw @TheEbonyMaw

2 weeks ago

Customer from a different department sends me a form requesting new equipment. The form is vague, so I email her requesting clarification. She sends me an encrypted email. I tell her I’m sorry, but my org box can’t open encrypted emails. Could you please send it unencrypted? Days go by. No response. I send her a second email. She once again replies with an encrypted email. This isn’t working. I find her on Teams & message her. She replies, “yes this is a new work request.” I say, “Yes, but what do you mean? Are you looking to get the new equipment by [X], or by [Y], or by another option? She replies, “Yes sir.” “Yes to which one?” I ask. “Our department needs the new equipment.” …. “Okay,” I say, “but I need to know HOW you want to go about it. Do you want 1. [X] method 2. [Y] method or 3. Another option I haven’t mentioned?” Her: [Goes offline]

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Divergence Line @DivergenceLine

2 weeks ago

@PKPatchworks Steak too juicy, lobster too buttery, etc etc

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Divergence Line @DivergenceLine

2 weeks ago

@DoubleBisko @Violet_Okami Biko don't look close your eyes

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lawyur @yeeldfarm

2 months ago

girls mysterious sources of income: - sugar daddy - daddy - OF boys mysterious sources of income: - cryptocurrency - shrimp farming - 黑暗深渊

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Nebitz Blikes @NBlikes43312

2 months ago

@FromKulak This is hilarious, but I have been thinking of late. It's not enough to hate HR professionals. We have to make the field toxic . Like make them feel ashamed and reviled when they mention that's what they do for a living, like a truck stop prostitute

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HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0

2 months ago

Examining my weak and absurd body in a full length mirror, on the verge of tears and totally aghast at the horror of human existence, whispering in a trembling voice, “Fuck it let’s get this fuckin money lets go”

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Divergence Line @DivergenceLine

2 months ago

@Humi_Femboy "We would wear woven microplastic skins, as was the fashion at the time-"

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Divergence Line @DivergenceLine

2 months ago

A modern day Odysseus.

𝖒𝖔𝖌𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖌 @wanted4mogging

2 months ago

day 4 of trying to get an aristocratic micropenis a long arduous day has only strengthened my resolve and calloused my heart as i, after having been forced to walk from my gated suburb into the wretched downtown of the city i live in, have arrived at the hostel or, as i have

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Book Club California @BookClubCali

2 months ago

Generally, the worst people on the planet have an increased need to be social, pleasant, and likable so they can keep getting away with whatever obscene problem behavior they probably haven’t been able to stop doing since adolescence. Sometimes it’s only that deep.