Gingee @Deviousgingee
Joined November 2025-
Tweets159
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Followers3
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Following8
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Likes315
I don't pick my nose. My genes already did.
My piece, “A Shy Parent’s Guide to Surviving an Outing With Your Social Child,” is up at Frazzled. It’s for every shy parent whose child keeps trying to get them killed by small talk. medium.com/frazzled/a-shy…
Musicians have to do different things with each hand. No wonder they get so many groupies.
During the Civil War, some people were forced to shoot at their own relatives. Lucky them.
Someone stole my jalapeño poppers. I was pepper-jacked.
Sometimes in life, you wanna be Liu Kang, but you’re really just Kung Lao.
Zorro thought slashing Zs into people's shirts was cool. The local tailor agreed.
My wife and I tried Terminator roleplay. I told her, “Come with me if you want to live.” She’ll be back.
House arrest in an efficiency apartment is like being a genie in a lamp. Except the only thing you grant is a urine sample.
I only feel seen for the brief moment after my message says “seen” and before nobody responds.
Real home security is watching two disappointed Jehovah’s Witnesses on your Ring camera.
Starbucks is getting too nosy. I had to give my name just to get a coffee. They ran my credit for a scone.
I’ve never seen a ninja wearing sneakers. They must work.
One of my jokes was published in Reader’s Digest. Pretty cool seeing it on the page.
My girlfriend said she loved the twist in The Sixth Sense, so I asked her to M. Night Shyamalan my nipples.
Why is Lord of the Rings such a big deal? I threw a ring into a volcano once. Nobody called me a hero. They just kept asking where my wife was.
Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? I need to re-up.
Sometimes I don't feel well and people tell me to sleep it off, but my problem is sleep apnea, so I'd probably just die.
I was into anime back when it gave you seizures.
Nancy V @AhmetKeceli_
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