Nelia @DevNelia

I got lost in the Cloud, I live there now. github.com/cornelia247 The Netherlands Joined March 2017

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Delicious Tacos @Delicious_Tacos

4 months ago

I’m the CEO of a hot dog company. I’ve worked on hot dogs for 10 years. And *I* wasn’t prepared for what I’ve just seen. Your life is about to change. So what can you do? Buy as many hot dogs as you can. Buy stock in hot dog companies.

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Nelia @DevNelia

4 months ago

Is this a skit or documentary?

ABISCO @Abisco__

4 months ago

Na to go buy generator tomorrow😂

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Nelia @DevNelia

4 months ago

Twinnn

The Air You Breathe 🌬️ @BlehisBack

4 months ago

Random but I used to bend my neck like this throughout my childhood. It bothered my mum so much, she took me for tests. Everybody said there was nothing wrong with the neck. She’d always ask if it was paining me. I’d say no. In my head, I was keeping it straight. 🫠 Sometimes

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Nelia @DevNelia

5 months ago

@sorakeiusura Your wallpaper😭😭😭

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Doctor @DipshikhaGhosh

5 months ago

“Out of ten men, one makes a sexual joke directed at a woman, two laugh alone, three don’t find it funny but still chuckle to fit in, four say nothing, they pretend they didn’t hear it at all. Not a single one speaks up, not a single one stops it. Later, aside from the man who made the joke, the other nine all believe the same thing - men like that are a minority, most men aren’t like this. They all see themselves as part of the good majority. But from the woman’s perspective, the one being harassed, there is no big difference between them. The laughter, the silence, the looking away - all of it creates the same environment. So when women say most men are the same, this is what they mean. Not every man harasses women but most men participate in protecting the system that does.”

Chinmayi Sripaada @Chinmayi

5 months ago

#NotAllMen

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Charms @The_amakaaa

6 months ago

If you ask me for money rn it means you hate me and want me dead

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🎞️ shitposts.mp4 🎞️ @shitposts_mp4

6 months ago

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inhuman resources @inhumandept_vp

6 months ago

Our company takes security seriously. So we did a surprise phishing test. We sent everyone an email titled: “CONFIDENTIAL: Layoff List Attached. DO NOT SHARE.” If they clicked the link, it was marked as a failure. At the end of the week, we downloaded the results. We fired everyone who didn’t click. If you see the words “Layoff List” and don’t want to know, you clearly lack hunger. Those who click? We cut their salary by 15% Never compromise company's security.

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@

6 months ago

Somebody’s Daughter, Someone’s Son 1/4

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Melissa Chen @MsMelChen

6 months ago

This is a better script than any Hallmark movie: > man sells company for hefty profit > pursues immortality by becoming the world’s most expensive guinea pig > daily routine includes 111 pills, blood-plasma transfusions from his own teenage son, measuring his nighttime erections > achieves biological age of a 28-year-old… but emotional age of a robot > realizes he has optimized every biomarker except for.. people who voluntarily hang out with him (a.k.a friends) > launches “Don’t Die” movement. Accidentally starts a cult > falls in love with the one woman who was by his side since day one of his journey > she's his longtime doctor / nutritionist / data priestess / social media guru who's been there through the 2 am rectal ozone sessions and the silent dance discos > she's measured everything - no one knows him more than she does > something in his optimized little heart glitches. For the first time in years, his cortisol spikes from an unregulated human emotion instead of a scheduled stress test > he may have eliminated 85% of microplastics from his balls but nothing, nothing will improve the quality of his life more than being in love with her > he whispers, “I spent years trying not to die… and you’re the first thing that ever made me want to live.”

Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson

6 months ago

Guys…I have a girlfriend. Now I know what you’re thinking…how is it possible that anyone would want to be with me? I understand where you’re coming from. I think the answer is: her puzzle piece fits mine. In my early twenties, I read the biography of the American founding

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Nelia @DevNelia

6 months ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession

6 months ago

Last month my intern asked for help with a Kubernetes error. He was stuck on a YAML file. He looked desperate. I make $275,000 a year. I haven't written a line of code since 2017. I don't even know what a "pod" is. But I didn't tell him that. I leaned back in my Herman

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Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged

6 months ago

It is 4:30 PM. Everyone is packing up. They think they are safe. They think the day is over. I decided to push a mandatory Windows Update. To the entire sales department. Right now. I heard the screams from down the hall. "Do not turn off your computer." "Updates are 12% complete." They have to stay. They have to watch the percentage bar. Why did I do it? To teach them patience. To teach them to save their work. To teach them that IT controls the clock. I am leaving now. My machine is running Linux. I don't update. I innovate. See you tomorrow.

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Nelia @DevNelia

6 months ago

I love twitter soo much🤣

Cary Kelly @CaryKelly11

6 months ago

If you take fish oil supplements, you should probably learn how they make them. This is an absolute deal breaker for me. Source: worldtradeprodotcom (IG)

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Nelia @DevNelia

6 months ago

I remember crying my heart out with so much pain whenever the name “Kano Nwankwo” was mentioned.

Maria Made in Cosmos ✨ @made_in_cosmos

6 months ago

1.5yo is devastated because he repeatedly asked for milk and we gave him milk instead of the apple juice he wanted for the whole time

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Nelia @DevNelia

6 months ago

I remember telling my friend this. He mentioned how my work voice is always so peppy and cringe but man I’m just trying to survive!!! There’s a reason I nap immediately after work😭.

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚌 𝙲𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚜 🍄 @anactualwalnut

6 months ago

Not to be that feminist but it is so intriguing to me just how different men & women behave in corporate settings. Women are almost always very 😃😃 !!! No problem!!! So awesome to meet you!! 😃😃 of course!! And you can’t tell if men in corporate America loathe you or not

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Nelia @DevNelia

7 months ago

Oh.

Dominik Tarczyński MEP @D_Tarczynski

7 months ago

Nigerian Christians will be rescued very soon!

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Nelia @DevNelia

7 months ago

In big 2025 lol. People are currently losing hope in tech in the country and freaking out about AI and this is where we are at lol. Forever grateful to @SheCodeAfrica

Mark Essien @markessien

7 months ago

HNG mentors discussing how best we can be very nice to our students.

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Nelia @DevNelia

7 months ago

Honestly chill!

Abnormal Saline @oyinloluwas

7 months ago

You tell a man your plans, next thing “when do you intend to start the courses you talked about”😖

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Nelia @DevNelia

7 months ago

Oh my God 🤣

Pearl📈 @feranmi_pearl

7 months ago

This is exactly why people call Gen Z soft. The moment there’s a little inconvenience, you start writing long essays. Why don’t you tell your university lecturers that the education system is toxic too? Bro people just want to be babied and then they’ll complain if something

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𝐀𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑🎬❤️ @_aaronmylove

7 months ago

I wanted to do a thread but I decided to just write in my notes. This shall be the last time I shall be answering anybody on this abortion case—i had to mentally go back to somewhere I didn't want to because of this. Thank you very much RIP Salome 🕊️❤️ I love you❤️

John Olonade Esq. 👨‍⚖️✒️ @TheJohnOlonade

7 months ago

Aaron, being a Christian and pandering to “pro-choice” ideas is a mosaic of contradictions. The pro-choice movement prioritizes personal autonomy and freewill above the biblical instructions that have been set before us to follow. Our freewill should be in tune with scriptures.