Masked Falcon @DaMaskedFalcon

Every Saturday.

Winningest coach in town has 2 dubs. Don’t tell me Urban doesn’t have a future in the Flo. #roarsugardaddies #urbanflo

Average Falcon only lives 13 years. Bad idea to tell Coach Waldron I won’t tweet until he wins another game. Seriously. What comes first? Me flying headfirst into O’Neal or Ol’ Wayne getting his 3rd dub?

They must be using CoachComm. barstoolsports.com/blog/3382477/s…

Congratulations to Coach Wayne Waldron on his first win as a Falcon coach & avoid the consequences the last Falcon coach endured after an 0-3 start.

6 FCS teams beat an FBS opponent yesterday and my beloved Lions couldn’t get the dub against a group of hurricane evacuees. Leo’s gonna need a power washer for what I’m about to deliver.

This explains some things. According to the National Audubon Society, a teenage Falcon loses at least 1 talon before adulthood.

Served my time in Twitter jail after the Trojans win over my beloved Falcons. Lots of catching up to do.

Boo took a call from Coach Wayne Waldron of the Florence Fightin’ Falcons tonight. This guy. Hasn’t been here a year & asks if I will stop dropping loads on his car. Easy. You win, I don’t drop. You lose, it’s wild berries and worms.

Cleaning Hack: Adding a sticker to your broken vacuum cleaner restores the suck in seconds.

My lawyer advised me to allow him to respond to questions related to my hatred of TSAR. This is my 1 & only statement.

He looks just like his dad. Coach Baselden gone get his own Netflix show.

Get off my lawn! #GuardYourYard

Crazy request in the nest this morning. Seems someone across the river lost their recipe for ice. Told Coach Baselden he shouldn’t have fired the guy.

No one deserves the spotlight more than my good friend Rusty. Say what you want about him but who else could manage 2 families in 2 cities for 5 yrs before there was a misunderstanding?#leader

Mark Heim @Mark_Heim

3 years ago

No one deserves the spotlight more than my good friend Rusty. Say what you want about him but who else could manage 2 families in 2 cities for 5 yrs before there was a misunderstanding?#leader

2 2 17 0 0

Flying around, waiting on my check from the “Anybody, anywhere, anytime, most physical team in the state” school. Hard to hold on to these burritos much longer.

Sources: Coach Baselden assisted in passing out textbooks at the school across the river today. 64 Crayola’s coming tomorrow.

Earlier, recon flight for Operation Butt-Shot. Thanks to our allies procuring the prize, the Operation has been canceled.

How about it William Laurece Davis, THE greatest qb to ever play for the School Across The River. Flo beats your alma mater & Falcons get a GameDay shoutout. What say you @ReceDavis?

Breaking. Sources within the school across the river have captured Coach Baselden working on Friday’s game plan. More to come on SportsCenter.