David Gray @D7avid

Just finished The Onion Story by @ScottDikkers — a fascinating behind-the-scenes look at how The Onion became a comedy legend. Highly recommend it!

@ClubRandom_ @billmaher I think Bill will be dating Rachel soon ... they seem like they were checking each other out a bit on how they each see life and relationships ... we'll see ... I think Bill would be happy for at least 3 years

@jordanbpeterson not just my life, but the lives of everyone around me

@DrEliDavid the shirt of Humza Yousaf .... white, the subtitles .... white, clouds ... white, the word "white" .... white

@jokedoctor it can definitely carb your enthusiasm

@asktoybox @jokedoctor thats funny

You never hear "That other religion has a good point!" /or/ "My political party was wrong on that, the other one was completely correct" /or/ "My husband is right" ... (ok I'm going too far now). #comedy #jokes

@ElonMuskAOC hypothetical questions

@jokedoctor I wish I could have attended but I live halfway around the world ...

Never ask someone from one religion, political party, school of thought..., what someone in another.. believes or thinks ... Would you ask a cat what a dog thinks? no. you wouldn't. cat's don't talk.

@jokedoctor I have 3 kids. Kids is also a name for goats. Here's an interesting fact, goats were one of the first animals ever domesticated 10,000 years ago in Iran. My kids however are not domesticated and they've never been to Iran.

@jokedoctor Thanks for the great tip Jerry!

@jokedoctor you're lucky .. you need reminders ... I have teenagers so I can forget

@jokedoctor I heard that the pilots asked for some accommodation ... the replacement of the pre-mature ejection seats ...

@fireman452a @jokedoctor Is it an Island kitchen?

@jokedoctor the only time we've been given a warning about a sink hole. You're children might want to bring a change of clothes.

@jokedoctor they might need to open up some bottomless bars

@LasVegasLocally @jokedoctor Cone-y island

@jokedoctor yesterday's weather is what it used to be

Then she says "Ya but what's with the blue binoculars?" (audience laughter) I donno, I guess she doesn't like blue. ((what do you think everyone? any advice?) @jokedoctor #neighbor #neighbours #laugh #happy #JokeoftheDay

I can't figure out what my neighbor's problem is. I'm walking down my street just as this lady walks out of her house. Suddenly, she yells "Why are you looking at me like that?" Startled I say, "Ma'am your house is right on the road. You came out and I noticed you".