corpfessions @Corpfessions

I work at a mid-sized tech company based in the US. In 2023, they fired half our development team and replaced them with Indians in India. While hiring, they had candidates who were paying other people to do interviews for them, in one case one was hired and a completely different Indian woman from the one who was interviewed showed up. Fast forward a couple of years, the quality of the product is falling off a cliff. The Indians are completely incapable of even the most basic code implementations. My team literally gives them the front-end code, and recently I discovered that instead of taking our front-end code, they've been taking screenshots of our UI and pasting them into Claude Code and having the AI recreate the UI from scratch. The problem is, we already wrote the code for the UI, all they had to do was copy it. Now, they are essentially vibecoding the entire product and creating technical debt that will already take 6+ months to resolve. I had to train a "Senior Application Developer" how to resize a browser window, some of my Indian coworkers will seemingly take my messages in Teams, put them into Claude, and copy and paste the response back to me. Senior leadership is seemingly totally unaware of the state of what's happening, and continues to "laud" the "move to an offshore model" as a great success.

This was years ago but when I was working the Geek Squad counter I had an Indian guy who was so filthy that his skin was a sort of oily green color wearing one of those stupid long shirts and matching pants things come up to the counter and no joke this guy literally smelled worse than death. I’ve stumbled upon rotting deer corpses in the woods that smelled better than this guy. He starts talking in his stupid thick accent and I can’t even process the words he’s saying because he fucking REEKS. I couldn’t take it anymore and ended up puking into a trash can right in front of him and he just doesn’t even process what he’s just seen so I just end up walking away and he’s just yelling, confused as to why nobody wants to interact with him at all.

Sorry, this one might be a bit long. Worked in Japan a few years ago for a certain large tech/investment company. All wasn't bad, made some friends, made good money etc. But I had this really weird coworker that sat a few desks down from me. She would constantly glare at me and the guy across from me whenever we laughed or got along well. It was extremely uncomfortable. Then she'd furiously write some moonrune bullshit onto this strangely decorated little notebook before furiously slamming it in her bag. Odd. Time went on, and eventually we were both sick of it and raised it with our dept. head where she was forced to hand over the book. Turns out she was something called a fujoushi (? Not sure how it's spelled, means women that fantasise about gay men) and was writing gay fanfiction about us. Half of this book was filled with the most depraved shit I've ever had the misfortune of reading, and I couldn't even read the other half. She was forced to transfer, and we were both forced to sign waivers that we wouldn't sue on the condition that we'd get 2 weeks of holiday each. Never knew what happened to the book, so somewhere out there is a novella of gay porn fanfiction between a 45yo Japanese man with a wife & kids and some white guy from Europe.

I don’t know why I even bother. Every day, I wake up groggy and terrible, having to endure 30 minutes of evading idiot drivers to get to a workplace that is basically a single apartment room. I constantly miss calls and can't even get one single piece of work right. Either that, or I forget one item while I get to handle every paper and work document I sign up for, because we don’t have some sort of organized files to categorize all the work needed to do. But the bit that sticks with me is that, every time we have a meeting, the topic always reflects some sort of error I make or a thing I forget to do. We have 4 other coworkers working in the same place, yet I feel like I’m the only one put on show. And yet, for all these misgivings and tribulations, I still think I deserve all of it. Like I was punished for being born or at least for being so bloody incompetent. But I don’t know how much I can take it, and it’s not like its the worst job I know of. I’m just so tired of seeing my mistakes be the talk of today’s workday every single time, even if it’s meant to “educate” me. I hate my life.

I’m really sorry you’re too lazy to reply to our partner emails. It’s part of your job you idiot. Do you think you’re high above everyone? Not only are you lazy you’re also dumb. You would not last in the real world. You’re lucky you got promoted when you did because your dad is friends with the CEO. You won the birth lottery, that's all.

"Lifting is bad for your health and gym bros hate women."

>got job as senior accountant thing at KPMG >don't care about job and pretend to be super smart >it's pick your own seat every day so I sit as far away as I can from the team >always like to get super wasted on the free alcohol >get assigned to biggest job for the most respected partner in firm >have access to all the myob files >reset the myob files so the journals others did are deleted >others get blamed kek >pretend to work super hard each day staying back til midnight, but hiding in my cool harbour view seat >do heaps of journals and calcs completely wrong >walk in on a Monday after 6 months >type resignation email and set a timer >walk out Life is so easy when you don't care about anything.

Nothing will turn a person racist faster than working at an innercity school. I've seen the most left wing pro LGBTQ+ pink haired die hard libs turn into the most vile racists you will ever meet a month into teaching at these schools. They are hell on earth.

"The least women can do for me is to make me a sandwich."

I was happier when I was homeless living out of my car than when I got a job at this call centre. Let's face it, if you aren't born rich life is basically hell.

Anon is confused.

The job I work at requires drug tests once every 3 months. Every person I work with is some type of addict, either weed, opiates, or whatever. Me and my gf sell our pee to them for 100 bucks a pop. I literally make like 1-2k every few months because these degenerates can't stay clean. Best side hustle I have ever had.

Anyone else never been happy? Like never genuinely had a happy memory? I grew up with a tiger mom and was basically told to study what my parents wanted. Graduated with a degree I hated. Work in a job I despise. I sit here at my desk realizing that there has never been a single moment or decision in my life that belonged to me. The worst thing is I am too scared to even start figuring out how to break this cycle. Just another nameless rat I guess who will die nameless in this corporate hellhole

It's amazing how many people I work with are full blown alcoholics. Didn't really notice it until a friend I made at my job started pointing it out. Getting blasted on lunch breaks then coming back to finish the shift like they aren't completely out of it. I don't blame them to be fair, the job is mind numbing.

I work at a call center as a HR manager. Someone came to me to complain that there was a nest of pubic hair on the flat top of the urinal in the men's bathroom. I went to check, and there was, in fact, a remarkable amount of pubes there. It was nasty and clearly placed there by someone on purpose. I cleaned them off with a paper towel, washed my hands vigorously, and continued on with my day. A couple hours later, I was told the pubes had returned. Not quite as many as the first time, but still a large amount. WTF has my life come to?

This stupid ass white girl always brings her large dog into the office. Normally, I wouldn’t say anything because I love dogs, but this dog shits on EVERYTHING. It shat under my desk, and all over the kitchen. I’ve complained many times but no one does anything, and the worst part is I HAVE TO CLEAN IT because cleaners only come in after everyone leaves. When I tried to get her written up, you guessed it, her uncle is the regional manager and of course nothing happens. WHY GOD WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME? I JUST WANT TO BE FREE.

Today a coworker screamed at me for leaving food to rot in the shared fridge. It was my first day there, and I hadn’t even unpacked my belongings yet. I can already tell I’m not gonna have a good time.

Anon is flooded

I work in a marketing position for a large food company. After brief training, I realized that I had to carry a wooden sign in a supermarket every day, and stand there and promote various products. There was no specific time schedule; I could stay there as long as I wanted so long as I reached my sales goal. At the end of the day, we would all gather at the company’s offices. Our manager would step in while the speakers played the song “We Are the Champions” by Queen at max volume, and then the show would begin. We would ring a bell and clap for everyone who reached their goals. But what about those who had almost reached them? We would form a circle and that person would stand in the middle and act like a chicken – because apparently they chickened out instead of hitting their targets. Oh, and if anyone’s phone rang in the middle of this “show”, they’d immediately have to do 10 pushups. If there is a hell for me, this is it. Worst part? I can’t quit because I’d be homeless.

I hate my job but I don’t have the courage to quit. Nothing about it in particular is bad, it’s just brain dead speaking to these old timers who have had their asses glued to the same old seat for literally decades. It scares me that that’s what my life will become. Just another lost soul putting together useless sheets 0 people will look at. I’m afraid to quit because I come from a poor family and my dad had to pull a lot of strings to get me in. But at the same time, it’s a living hell. I don’t know how long I can do this for.