Being able to feel my feelings (both good and bad!) as they are happening is a miracle. My ability to feel was shut down and crushed when I was a baby. I was numb to my feelings for many decades. In many ways I was like a zombie, moving around but not fully alive. #CPTSD
@BeTraumaFree It was the opposite for me, constantly overwhelmed with my feelings and unable to coherently express my deep feelings, as if I was the only one who cared genuinely about people and situations. Maybe that's why I love reating art, it's my way to express feelings beyond words.
@BeTraumaFree Having everything start so early in life sucks because there’s not really a pre-trauma baseline for your nervous system to return to
@BeTraumaFree I don't know much about feeling, but being constantly teased and taunted i used to go numb when people abuse,and sort of accept it.
@BeTraumaFree It’s like I walked through life with experiences but no memory or feelings about them. Auto pilot is a good description. So many things I missed and am probably still missing. Things I should be angry about can be talked about like I’m a third person. Feels like a wasted life 🥲
@BeTraumaFree I think a lot of my anxiety happens in the space between what I’m feeling & what I’m allowed to feel or even know how to feel. When others use your life as their drugs — both uppers & downers — feelings are fiction. Works of art that life bends, imitates, & fogs up reality with.