Fueled by helium & carbon monoxide ™ @wookietv
still just a stupid, fat, lazy angel Joined February 2009-
Tweets14K
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Followers387
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Following1K
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Likes2K
Of course, I wear a fanny pack. Where else am I going to keep my travel potato salad?
People wanna see aliens so bad, yet they can't tolerate humans with a different skin color.
ASSISTANT: so what dimensions do the doors, hinges, walls, and locks need to be so that it all fits? GUY WHO INVENTED PUBLIC BATHROOM STALLS: can't stress how unimportant that part is
First Henry Kissinger and now OJ. It's like we're finishing up all the side quests before we take out the final boss in New York next week
Who said Humpty Dumpty was an egg at any point in that little song! The artist just sat there like "lol i'm gonna fuck with them and draw him as an egg"
I thought we were ready with the glasses and I'm outside, looking up, but I don't know which moon I'm supposed to look at for the eclipse
Don’t forget to save all 500 of those blurry pics you took of the eclipse today. Your future grandkids are gonna wanna hear all about it.
People in the South better not shoot and kill the moon during the eclipse before people in the north get a chance at it
If you're looking for eclipse glasses right now you understand why same day voter registration is important
When you bump into an NPC from a late '80s adventure video game
When you bump into an NPC from a late '80s adventure video game
A saw a cop try to shoot the earthquake because he felt his life was threatened.
This bro fucked up real bad coming into a stop& shop buying flowers and a pint of ice cream for someone
ME: I know you from somewhere JESUS: I get that a lot ME: No I’m sure JESUS: Just one of those faces ME: [holding my arms out] Go like this
Sorry bro for the confusion, but next time you ask if I have a condom, make sure you specify you want a new one.
Sorry bro for the confusion, but next time you ask if I have a condom, make sure you specify you want a new one.
Fear and Loathing in Busytown
*to the tune of We Didn't Start the Fire*
this is going to be the best dollar ive ever spent i can feel it in my bones
my brain anytime im trying to fall asleep
If there weren't video of it, I'd find it hard to believe Charles Barkley ever really played basketball.
Shavonda Sphon @ShavonSph
53 Followers 5K Following
Rudi Cassells @CassellsRu97941
53 Followers 5K Following
Robyn-rose Frittz @RFrittz61497
89 Followers 5K Following
Donald 🗽🇺🇸�.. @007__NIL
20K Followers 22K Following I Like Scotland & Hibs to win at everything... What could possibly go wrong? Oh just discovered midjourney !
Latia Gerney @GerneyLati94688
85 Followers 5K Following
Shaunnie Decristoforo @ShaunnieDe90082
93 Followers 5K Following
Susanne Robbin @robbi_susan
87 Followers 5K Following
Alice @alicemercier75
219 Followers 3K Following
Shawn Saunder @ShawSaunde
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Daisy 😻 @DaisyGlenn8923
2 Followers 217 Following Libеrаted and рassiоnate woman crаving рassionаte cоnnесtiоns
Valentine Bohrer @BohValenti
72 Followers 5K Following
Alisha Overfelt @AliOverfel
50 Followers 5K Following
Cassandra Marcotrigia.. @CassandraM96916
93 Followers 5K Following
Devora Marceau @devora_dev
41 Followers 5K Following
Alexandrina Gamby @gam_alexandrin
88 Followers 5K Following
Santana Edmister @SantanaE54643
89 Followers 5K Following
Lora Woodfield @woodfie_lo
44 Followers 5K Following
Freida Daub @daub_d
52 Followers 5K Following
Irma Lorimor @ir_lori
51 Followers 5K Following
Mara Fabionar @FabionarMa98628
38 Followers 5K Following
Delaine Villasis @DelaineVil17959
98 Followers 5K Following
Edelmira Catapano @CatapaEdelmi
31 Followers 5K Following
Chaya Fernet @FernetChay87
7 Followers 2K Following
Talan Edwards @EdwardsTal94056
23 Followers 1K Following
Samantha Sodhi @SamantSod
72 Followers 5K Following
Camila Mellen @CamilaMell58541
48 Followers 5K Following
Tanisha Tritten @tritt_tanis
56 Followers 5K Following
Lona Challenger @Challenger12979
82 Followers 5K Following
Dusti Olquin @OlquiDu
80 Followers 5K Following
Kelle Cove @cov_kel
66 Followers 5K Following
Andra Keliihoomalu @AKeliihoom99954
19 Followers 2K Following
Dillon @BluSuitDillo
236 Followers 4K Following Cyclical and Secular Market Cycle Commentary, Fed Policy, Bond Market & Growth Focused Stock Picker. 100% Transparency & Sharing My Process.
Orlaigh Prudom @PrudOrla
11 Followers 2K Following
Lakia Dubach @duba_laki
27 Followers 5K Following
Chu Walding @ChuWaldi
41 Followers 5K Following
Remy Demyan @DemyanRemy14664
48 Followers 5K Following
Jerrica Cestari @jerr_cest
36 Followers 5K Following
Joyce Maricich @JoyceMarici
43 Followers 5K Following
Qasim Rashid, Esq. @QasimRashid
344K Followers 319 Following Human Rights Lawyer • Author • Dad Jokes • SiriusXM Host Channel 126 Sundays @ 9 CST
Ilhan Omar @IlhanMN
2.9M Followers 2K Following Mom, Refugee and Congresswoman for #MN05. Progressive Caucus Deputy Chair. Fighting for a more just world.✨ https://t.co/u6aQiJB0hs 📚
Post Politics @postpolitics
400K Followers 2K Following The latest political news and analysis from The Washington Post.
Connecticut Post @connpost
130K Followers 1K Following Covering southwestern Connecticut since 1883. Facebook: https://t.co/JhiF0fvKTA Newsletters: https://t.co/J28JcXROxd Subscribe: https://t.co/DtWJsHiWhJ
Mark Dixon @MarkDixonTV
9K Followers 891 Following Chief Meteorologist at @WFSBnews... Forecasting & Broadcasting Weekday Evenings | Science Sunday, Host
News12CT @News12CT
105K Followers 536 Following 24/7 Hyper-local breaking news, weather, traffic and more. Download our app or go to https://t.co/rIgrpOC6Bw for updates. For news tips, call (203) 849-1321. #Connecticut
Darren Sweeney NBCCT @DarrenSweeney
16K Followers 5K Following Meteorologist&reporter #NBCCT .Prof @CCSU.'Like'me on FB https://t.co/0Cbb5yex4m… *tweets may be used on-air @NewhouseSU'00 @Ametsoc @NWA Certifified
CT Emergency Manageme.. @CTDEMHS
21K Followers 332 Following DEMHS' mission is to direct and coordinate all available resources to protect the life and property of the citizens of Connecticut in the event of an emergency.
Connecticut Magazine @connecticutmag
74K Followers 5K Following The magazine of Connecticut for 50 years, combining award-winning journalism with a monthly slice of Connecticut living.
WTNH News 8 @WTNH
302K Followers 424 Following #BreakingNews, #Connecticut weather and live video alerts from Connecticut's News 8 WTNH-TV.
Connecticut Public @wnpr
33K Followers 2K Following Watch. Listen. Learn. We are WNPR + CPTV, Connecticut’s public media source for news, information and ideas. 📸 Check out our IG: https://t.co/f8wtHrBhpm
Dillon Valdez @Dillon_Valdez
25K Followers 531 Following Sharing years of stock market experience and my journey for 10-baggers. In Medical Sales for my 9-5. Public portfolio hosted by Savvy Trader with 🔗 in Bio.
Jennifer Truth Over P.. @JRubinBlogger
704K Followers 798 Following NeverTrump, pro-democracy opinion writer at @WashingtonPost, MSNBC contributor. And: https://t.co/T5NHa1F0gB and JenRubin9 at Threads
Rachel Frank @RachelFrank_CT
19K Followers 3K Following Mom of 2. Emmy Award winning, FOX61 Chief Meteorologist. PENN STATE! Will work for 🍕 Weeknights 5, 6, 10 & 11PM. Forecasting CT 10+ years! Certified wx nerd.
Isaac Arnsdorf @iarnsdorf
17K Followers 2K Following @washingtonpost national political reporter. Author of FINISH WHAT WE STARTED (@littlebrown, April 2024)
Marcy Jones @marcy_jonestv
8K Followers 2K Following Morning Reporter at WFSB (CBS affiliate in CT) All I need is a microphone... and maybe some mascara.
John Craven @johncraven1
6K Followers 2K Following Award-seeking political reporter for @news12CT • Biscuit, sweet tea, and Yacht Rock enthusiast • Past: @69news / @fox7austin / @6NewsCTX / @ABC13News
DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm
1.5M Followers 835 Following Your leading source for quick reliable news. Home for healthy and liberating discussion on all things pop culture. (Amazon links shared may earn us commissions)
Rep. Justin Jones @brotherjones_
308K Followers 173 Following State Representative for District 52. Community Organizer. HBCU grad. On the journey, searching for higher ground. Carrying my ancestors’ prayers.
Prof Michael E. Mann @MichaelEMann
223K Followers 2K Following Scientist/Author; Presidential Distinguished Professor/Director Center for Science, Sustainability & the Media, U Penn; Nat Academy of Sciences; Tyler Prize
Bob Maxon @bobmaxon
21K Followers 718 Following Meteorologist for NBC Connecticut since 1995. Husband to Jacqui and dad to 2 awesome young ladies. Tweets are my own and RT's are not endorsements.
FOX61 Weather @WeatherCT
8K Followers 12 Following The latest on weather in Connecticut, from the @FOX61news Weather Team: @RachelFrank_CT @themattcast @SamSampieri @RyanBretonWX @rachpiscitelli
Rachael (rah-shell) J.. @_RachaelTV
4K Followers 189 Following 🇯🇲🇹🇹🇺🇸 @jonasbrothers fav meteorologist @nbcconnecticut weather/science geek @psumeteo grad follow for astronomy and weather info
Southern Connecticut .. @SouthernCTWX
2K Followers 107 Following Accurate, detailed, & hype free weather forecasts for all of Connecticut on Facebook, Twitter, & our website. 30,000 followers & counting. Follow us today!
Metro-North Railroad @MetroNorth
112K Followers 107 Following Purchase tickets, plan your trip, and chat with us: https://t.co/8uJdMZUjAT For real-time updates, sign up for MTA Service Alerts: https://t.co/d6t8Eo7c90
gabby @gabbazaba
1K Followers 1K Following official twitter page of gabbazaba (true). author of NY times bestseller (false). as seen on @Netflix (nope). on tour (never). 4x superbowl champ (probably).
oatmeal influencer @acechhh
33K Followers 572 Following
Mueller, She Wrote @MuellerSheWrote
750K Followers 15K Following FOLLOW ME ON POST: https://t.co/zAaaooO31j AND THREADS: https://t.co/hDci375oDX
Kate Sullivan @KateSullivanDC
23K Followers 2K Following Covering Trump and the 2024 election for CNN | [email protected]
internet hall of fame @InternetH0F
2.8M Followers 840 Following alt @TPayst | credit is given when original source is known. if no credit is listed, OP can DM us with credit request.
Groundwork Bridgeport @GroundworkBPT
263 Followers 16 Following We are committed to working with the local community to create a partnership that will bring real and sustainable environmental changes to our community.
CT Rail Commuters @CTRailCommuters
6K Followers 614 Following Advocates for ever-improved, affordable commuter rail service on MNRR in CT & NY... riders helping riders. Tweets by Jim Cameron, founder.
Andrew—Author of Am.. @AmoneyResists
245K Followers 99K Following Pro-Democracy. Anti-Fascism. Gay AF. The @GOP is a fascist Nazi cult. If you like my tweets, subscribe to my newsletter! #BlackLivesMatter #ExpandTheCourt
Ryan Breton @RyanBretonWX
10K Followers 2K Following Meteorologist @FOX61News, forecasting southern New England weather. AMS Certified, Penn State alum. Fan of football, country music, skiing, running and golfing.
NBC Connecticut @NBCConnecticut
312K Followers 743 Following Thank you for stopping by @NBCConnecticut -- the place to go for exclusive local stories, the latest breaking news, weather updates and more.
City of Bridgeport EO.. @BRIDGEPORTEOC
1K Followers 50 Following This is the official Twitter account for the @CityofBptCT Emergency Operation Center. To email the EOC please use [email protected]
City of Bridgeport @CityofBptCT
9K Followers 1K Following Official Twitter of #Bridgeport CT | #BPT #BPTCT Per State Statute: All comments on social media are Public Record & archived by government agencies as such.
Dates in Movies @DatesInMovies
54K Followers 264 Following When you absolutely, positively got to know every #OnThisDay in movie history, accept no substitutes.
jim rose circus @jimrosecircus1
159K Followers 113 Following Pop culture moron, circus performer, actor, author of 2 best selling books, Weekly TV. show on Travel Channel "The Jim Rose Twisted Tour". 🚫PLEASE NO DMs🚫
Brandt Robinson @BrandtRobinson
16K Followers 101 Following Carole's partner, Florida history teacher, rock climber, defender of public education
Jamie Dupree @jamiedupree
148K Followers 66 Following Reporting on Congress since 1986. Buy me a drink at https://t.co/QX8AEpUxOc - Capitol Hill newsletter 'Regular Order' at https://t.co/0WwjRk42wf
Noah Verrier @NoahVerrier
158K Followers 56 Following Colabs: @Tacobell @Dunkindonuts @Popeyes @LittleCaesars @Elpolloloco @VenusEtFleur @DrinkOLIPOP / In: @meangirls @Bonappetit @Harpersbazaarus @HGTV @Vogue
He Called Me Greenhor.. @WhatsAGreenhorn
9K Followers 3K Following He called me Greenhorn. I called him Tony Randall. It was a thing we had.
Real-Time Titanic �.. @events_bl
9K Followers 4K Following Titanic's captivating story in real-time. 🛳 Follow us for real-time Titanic tweets. 🛳
Indictments Only @indictmentsonly
90K Followers 1 Following By @MuellerSheWrote, this account is for the “wake me up when there are indictments” folks. No news. No analysis. Alerts will include a photo of Ann B. Davis.
Jake Lambert @jakelambertcom
25K Followers 1K Following TOUR ON SALE NOW! | For bookings contact [email protected] - Jake doesn’t use Twitter / X find him on Instagram!
PoliticsGirl @IAmPoliticsGirl
634K Followers 1K Following Believer in truth, facts & the American experiment. Paying for the check so I can post videos. Follow me elsewhere!
@EliseStefanik Still it gives him a chance to catch up on his sleep. Which must be nice #DonSnoreleone
Every time I think I know all of the my little pony characters my daughter brings a new one home and she’s like daddy this is cake bastard
*nod for webcam* "Mh-mh. Yeah. Yup, got it." *furious note-taking sounds*
Got this great pic of a cardinal at my bird feeder
Cops every day: Crime is out of control and going up every day and we can’t do enough because we need funding. The city is a war zone Cops when a reporter says they aren’t doing enough: Crime is DOWN! We’re stopping all of it just fine! The city is safer than ever!
What we are doing for public safety? Our team has brought crime down in 2023 and are continuing that trend in 2024. Not to mention removing thousands of guns of the street with 700+ less shooting victims in 2 years. I can go on…. However; Unprofessionalism is publishing a…
@vydamo_ Dude I am not reading this but I hope you beat the charges
we’re being robbed and they’re channeling your anger at immigrants and four trans girls who play volleyball in another state.
Corporate profits rose to a new all time high in Q4 of 2023.
@chrislhayes How soon can I do all my banking on this website?
Never thought I’d say this about a baby but this baby seems cool AF
The most 30 Rock headline
Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs
@MuellerSheWrote But Colorado can't decide who goes on ballots because states' rights would make other states not understand laws. Or something.
I know this one lady who would have made an INCREDIBLE saloon keeper during the Klondike gold rush, but I’m too scared to tell her because of the exact personality traits that would make her so good at it.
hitting the bar tonight in my “ZERO PERCENT IRISH. KISS ME AT YOUR OWN PERIL” shirt
Weird “Fuck/Marry/Kill” but okay
@yashar He went on to say: "ok, ok, don't get all hysterical toots"
GIRLFRIEND: I'm leaving you. You're constantly making up ridiculous idioms instead of just using common ones. ME: That's fine, Denise. There are plenty more little houses on the prairie.
Day 63, the salads have finally accepted me as one of their own
Goodbye cruel world
@truewagner omar shittin up a storm 27 plums is insane
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