Leah Bia @leahbiacomedy
Stand up comedian. Long Haul Covidian. Chicago, IL Joined October 2021-
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Following178
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I don’t trust people who choose ice cream in a cup over a cone.
New Year’s resolutions? Naw, let’s hear those New Year’s dissolutions. I’m tired of working on myself.
Sales cold calling rn and yoooo big shout out to the “erase and re-record” option on voicemails.
Therapy goals: I want the confidence of a crackhead crossing traffic
Real hot girls forget they’re wearing zit stickers in public
I may be single but at least I’m not a tik tok dance couple
You can skip the news today. It’s a rerun: classified documents, mass shootings, and NFL player domestic violence
I always feel guilty throwing away holiday cards. Putting my friends’ families in the trash like, who’s merry & bright now, Ava, age 3?
Algorithm be like: Standup reel of a joke that comedian took months to develop: 53 likes Hot girl does 1 deadlift and pairs it with a trending audio and message about her ADHD & toxic ex: 287.5K likes
I never expected to be 33 and still watching so much Family Feud
I need companies to understand that I will never buy their product if they make me do an interactive ad on Hulu
remember when we thought we had a phone addiction cos our Nokia had Snake? lololol
Ladies - when did u realize you’re not “one of the guys,” you’re emotionally repressed?
sometimes I smoke weed to numb my feelings. I call it emotional blunting.
I’m all about efficiency. Kill two bird scooters with one Tesla.
Is it a filter or is her camera dirty? She’ll never tell 😘
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My cousin had a baby the same day Toby Keith died, and so I posted this meme in the family group chat, and let me just say, it bombed very hard and now I think my Mom is mad at me.
How are you, as a man, going to ask me how many sets I have left on the smith machine? Go build a house, what are you unstable?
non-addicts are soooo crazy to me. like you can just get all fucked up and enjoy yourself and then the next day be like “that was cool but today I will just relax with my thoughts” lmaoooo what the fuck
being a stand up comedian means you meet actors sometimes which means sometimes you’ll be watching something and there’ll be a dude with like a line and you can be like “oh hey that guy asked me for a cigarette once at a party then three years later he unfollowed me on Instagram”
Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about. Except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.
NEW: Decrease in the brain’s cortical gray matter found in all 24 Long Covid participants via 3-dimensional voxel-based morphometry (3D VBM) MRI vs controls. “We need funding so we can expand this research,” lead researcher and GW neurologist Dr. Ted Rothstein told me. 1/5
I want to ask the @WhiteHouse their plan to deal with disability from millions of Long Covid patients. Most can barely function enough to make their own meals, much less wade through the Kafkaesque SSA system. I’ve worked there before. Can someone get me in that briefing room?
@maosbot @pamelarbishop Sent yet another message to my doctor this morning, off the back of the fantastic Nature article, essentially begging them to let me try some of the recommended / suggested treatments.
This joke has taken on a life of its own. All respect to Bobby Brown. The man was so cool he changed the way we say a word. Who knows. Maybe it’s Aaron Hall’s fault.
In @TheLancetPsych, I wrote about #LongCovid and the personal burden that comes with it. thelancet.com/journals/lanps…
Shes a 10 but moves things with her mind She's 11.
Bro, don’t let that $7 sundress cost you $70,000 in child support this summer
Things get harder before you level up. Know that.
It’s a boy 👨👩👦. I’m so blessed 😇
Embarrassed for your fan base…be better. If you can’t, sell ur team to somebody that wants to show the fan base and baseball they’re at least trying to compete. Sorry unacceptable
who tf decided it was called “emotional baggage“ and not “griefcase” ???
Kenley Jansen has a locker in the Braves’ clubhouse. He’ll wear No. 74.
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