CrazyFeralCatLady @kcobra11
don't bother twitter.com/search?q=from:… lost in my thoughts Joined March 2013-
Tweets62K
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Followers10K
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Following3K
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Likes74K
You don't know torture til you've done a mammogram 5 days before your period starts
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Be honest..how many of you took tomorrow (ttpd day) off work?
CrazyFeralCatLady retweeted
I hope your spoon doesn't fall into your cereal this morning
I'd rather sit thru a 5 hour algebra class on the first day of my period, under a buzzing fluorescent light, while a smoke detector continues to beep that the battery is low than make a phone call.
CrazyFeralCatLady retweeted
I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a victorian estate with all my unread books.
CrazyFeralCatLady retweeted
Imagine falling in love and then finding out they're mean to strangers on the internet.
Sorry for not responding to your text from last month. I pretended I didn't see it and then I forgot that i pretended i didn't see it. I'm an asshole. Will do it again.
There's actually swifties out there who don't realize that London Boy is a satire. Can you believe it?
CrazyFeralCatLady retweeted
🌈| Shannon Beveridge on Kaylor recreating a video of her and Fletcher talking about their relationship 'I will contribute to the fund.'
Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's lòreal lumi glotion, a push-up bra and a prescription for lithium.
CrazyFeralCatLady retweeted
If I send you random memes please know it means “here’s some memes because I’m bad at small talk but enjoy you as a human”
CrazyFeralCatLady retweeted
Your ex is somewhere right now pretending to be in love just to have a place to stay
CrazyFeralCatLady retweeted
If you can't laugh at yourself, you shouldn't be on Twitter.
I hope when I die it's at home, in my own bed, on a fentanyl drip like God and big pharma intended.
You know what I miss? Every business under the sun having cool, trendy matchbooks to hand out.
CrazyFeralCatLady retweeted
I like being prepared so I might start sleeping in a casket.
CrazyFeralCatLady retweeted
How come we haven’t had any good prophets for a few centuries now?
If I've ever told you you had my full attention, I was lying.
Anyone else in the mood for chowder and clamcakes?
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