TimLyons @TimLyons

All my cousins banging on the bathroom door 40 minutes after dinner, shit filling up their pants. My legs are asleep, my ass cheeks are red and I'm 30 minutes into a perfect Balatro run on my phone. I can't stop now. I won't stop now.

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TimLyons @TimLyons

2 years ago

This one’s for all the spooky girlies this spooky season based on the spooky witches getting down in the 2015 spooky movie The Witch.

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TimLyons @TimLyons

2 years ago

Sucks that I can wake up from a beautiful, tragic, life changing dream knowing that it’s meaningless and only happened because I ate red sauce the night before.

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TimLyons @TimLyons

2 years ago

@atdanwhite To know they are locked is to try and unlock them.

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TimLyons @TimLyons

2 years ago

Wouldn’t let this pervert sleep anywhere near my dog.

Dan White @atdanwhite

2 years ago

Travel hack: Rather than pay full price for a hotel room, I book a night at a “dog hotel” intended for short-term boarding (40-50% price of human hotels). Then when I show up I pretend to be confused/angry. After enough pleading they usually let me sleep in one of the kennels.

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Calvero @calvero_sings

2 years ago

The music video for my new song "anything you want" is out today! directed by @conortheconor, DP by daniel clark & edited by anthony tocchio feat. @kstud @joekjoek @joemcadam @2tonbug @eyyitslisa & more :)

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Dan White @atdanwhite

2 years ago

Chicago! Doing 2 live shows on Thursday! 7:30pm | @iochicago 10pm | Logan Square Improv Tix: linktr.ee/improvisdead

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TimLyons @TimLyons

2 years ago

@EddieKlink @jonahformayor @ImprovIsDead @iochicago @atdanwhite This is super similar but I get that.

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TimLyons @TimLyons

2 years ago

@jonahformayor @ImprovIsDead @iochicago @atdanwhite We were consistently letting down chocolate fans.

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Improv is Dead @ImprovIsDead

2 years ago

Hey CHICAGO! We're doing some unplugged and perved out live shows Oct. 3rd @iochicago at 7:30 pm and then at 10 pm Logan Square Improv! Grab a tickets for either show here linktr.ee/improvisdead

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TimLyons @TimLyons

2 years ago

@IAmEcw Appreciate this very much! Thanks buddy!

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Dan White @atdanwhite

2 years ago

I love this show! Can’t wait for everyone to see it in November 🚑

NBC Entertainment @nbc

2 years ago

The best hospital in-network. 🩺 NBC’s #StDenisMedical premieres November 12, and streaming on @peacock.

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TimLyons @TimLyons

2 years ago

Anyone else accidentally spelling it "HOTTOTO" when singing it out loud?

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TimLyons @TimLyons

2 years ago

I spent $96 on Hinge roses last week and sent them all within 5 min. So far haven’t heard back from anyone but I know this is what it takes. As soon as I get paid this week, I’m excited up the ante to $200 and put myself out there once again! I’m destined to be deleted!!!